1. |
most days (demo)
02:46
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fair thee well? are ya sleepless
in your bed tonight
all this snow blankets outside in quiet
but it only amplifies this pain inside
somedays i think that i’m supposed to know you
most days i know what’s right
i’ve been preaching for a long time
a peace i could never find
it's time i gave up on my false idols
of suffering and decline
somedays i feel like i’m not going make it it
most days i know i’m fine
when your heart skips a beat you think of the pieces missing
but they return on the breeze
and if we wait for several seasons
if we let the sun come round a few more times
that same cormorant’s back down at the river
she swims it off all the time
i used to think that it was mine to fix
and now i know i can’t even try
somedays i feel like i'm not gonna make it
most days i know i'm fine
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2. |
plague (demo)
03:48
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we were warned about a plague
we were told there'd be water
and it seemed that when it came
i begged to go under
oh this sweet release
oh miss misery
i couldn't stand i couldn't speak
i couldn't swim so i took a leap
in light of your pain
in love with self loathing for another day
i couldn't feel love in your heat
i couldn't dream love in your sleep
and when it came to the winter's end
i took stock of the way you regarded our hens
you didn't feed them for days
left them to be picked off by foxes
their plumes went up like one last warning shot
in love with your rage
forlorn and self loathing for another day
that fox looked me square in the eyes
and said turn it all over to the tide
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3. |
dianne (demo)
04:24
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met you pulling out of jack london station
i was in my assigned seat along with your things
you shoved me from behind
and said, hey can’t you read?
it was twelve more hours till LA
the seats in coach were fairly cozy
i figured i’d try talking to you
you had hot pink hair and a tarot tattoo
oh dianne, oh dianne
dianne from spokane to san diego
and for all your plans for after vietnam
they seem to have dried in the sun of new mexico
left home and enlisted at 18
secretary or housewife wasn’t your thing
you figured you’d try something new
and a handsome army man recruited you
but what you saw there, you knew it wasn’t right
and the violence wasn’t just from enemy lines
your male comrades stole your body from your mind
oh dianne, oh dianne
dianne from spokane to san diego
and for all your plans for after vietnam
they seem to have dried in the sun of new mexico
and you feel it calling in your bones
its been calling you since you got home
you thought you’d try love and start a home
and you were on your way
but that fear it settled in your spine
and those damn pills have got you in a bind
three grown kids you haven’t seen since ‘99
but you’re on your way now
oh dianne, oh dianne
dianne from spokane to san diego
and for all your plans for after vietnam
they seem to have dried in the sun of new mexico
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4. |
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when i was four years old my brother joe’s toothache had him driving up a wall
there was no money though so to school mom said he still had to go
he had a better plan after all; he skipped school and shop lifted ambisol (tylenol)
he was a child in pain, but the state said that he had to pay
court fees or juvie, its all in a poor kid’s duty
fast forward 25 years, he’s on trial down home facing five felonies
for pills his doctor gave, 40 years for his pain he could have to pay
for migraines, for soul aches, we all see whose lose is whose gain
when you’re told your failing at your race, you start to see the whole lie for its bald face
don’t stop believing
oh this world it takes a lot of grieving
don’t stop believing
this world will fuck your feelings
don’t stop believing
this world needs all our healing
when i was 24, i got the call that my brother michael wasn't alive no more
he had a heavy heart, but it was made of solid gold, and man was he ever smart
he studied hard and got good grades but then production moved away
he wanted better in his life, but the state said he was human sacrifice
unemployment, disability, moralizing lies of personal culpability
fernando was 51, on his way to work construction, up before the sun
he had a wife and family, lived 20 years here, had his first grand baby
he didn’t see my brother there, who was stumbling from a median, drunk and impared
he waited six years holding his breath, for the knock at the door, you know what’s next
no documents, deportation, why do some still say a 'once-great' nation?
when you see the things guts for what they are, it’s hard to stomach the bullshit (on NPR)
don’t stop believing
oh this world it takes a lot of grieving
don’t stop believing
this world will fuck your feelings
don’t stop believing
this world needs all our healing
don’t stop believing
this world takes all our healing
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5. |
shoe city (demo)
03:44
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i took a break, took a walk took a drive around lewiston
my thoughts went deep with shoe city last night
it had snowed, it was magic hour, and i followed some ravens
high above the abandon mills and blight
oh ah ha
skeletal monuments of a working class in decay
just part of the mess that capital’s made
i thought about the accounts of the quebecois women
who describe abuse as a routine part of the job
i thought about how they called them the chinese of the eastern states
how race and class always collide
oh ah ha
they fought for the value of their work and the streets remember their fight
they’re mostly gone but i honor them tonight
just past the tallest stack, i cross the bridge into auburn
and i thought about the ’37 strike
about the 5,000 workers who all joined together
to demand a bigger piece of the pie
oh ah ha
they petitioned the owning class but they didn’t win
fifty years later they tell their stories with a grin
downtown on lisbon street the shops that are open
tell a story of the economy in the last few years
there’s a place to sell your plasma, your labor by the hour
our blood’s the only currency circulating here
oh ah ha
the state comes out in force when a rebellion needs putting down
and that’s part of the history of this post-industrial town
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6. |
life (demo)
03:02
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when i was 24 my brother michael died
two young uniformed men went to tell my father and
in his baker’s whites
in his workman's shoes
he made his way in halogen light
to receive the news
life don’t get easy you get wiser to her ways
and if you can crest this pain, you’ll catch a gentler wave
heartache and strife, the ache don’t go away you just befriend it after a while
there’s another kind of grief that comes once the hardness softens
love
when i was 34 my brother joe went to live in a cage some more
he couldn’t kick them pills for which big pharma made billions
an unknown call from Starke, Florida, my stomach drops I think it’s for ya
listening I go numb; its a debt collection
life don’t get easy, you get wiser to her ways
and if you can crest this pain, you’ll catch a gentler wave
heartache and strife, the ache don’t go away you just befriend it after a while
there’s another kind of grief that comes once the hardness softens
love
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7. |
feeling low (demo)
03:42
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i would have called you about a year ago
but i was feeling low
i couldn’t shake a deep fear from my bones
i was barely hanging on
there were many times i thought to reach for you
but i was grieving alone
had to learn for myself that my wealth was something
no one could ever own
i had to wade through my darkness
onto my own shores
we’ve got the light
i won’t let mine be shuttered no more
i spent a southern youth scared sleepless
on very rough sheets
and we scampered further inland with the rest of the wild beasts
but the roar of the waves could still reach me
and there were fossils in the yard
and the ash that rained down from that space ship
kept me tethered to the stars
one day we’ll wake from the violence
into our own love
when we’re all in together
we won’t be divided no more
come on baby, think it over
you don’t have to be so mad all the time
come on baby, think it over
you don’t have to bring up the past all the time
come on baby, think it over
you don’t have to be so mad all the time
come on baby, think it over
we don’t have to live in the past for the rest of time
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